one of me

i most definitley have multiple personalities. how is it that in the time it takes to refresh a facebook page, i realize the tv is now on bravo, poisoning my brain with the real housewives of fill in the blank...when just 2 minutes ago i was watching news updates about the latest and greatest of the caylee anthony story. but what's that story anyways? didn't they find her body months ago? she's dead. let's move on. we should save some of our emotional distress for when of our loved ones is murdered, stashed in a trunk and discarded on the side of the road.

anyways, i don't know how the tv got on bravo. i would blame my dog if i had one. and i really want one...like most women my age want children. but i recognize that it would be selfish to have a dog cooped up in this apartment all day when i was at work. too bad so many women don't realize that it's selfish to leave a child cooped up while they are off to suck more dick for crack. back to the point...i didn't change the channel. or maybe i did, but while my body was being directed by a lesser known personality that my brain is hosting. one that wishes that i was a spoiled rich wife who gets weekly botox injections and hops around a tennis court in my tiffany jewels, finding the most ridiculous shit to bitch about. yes, that must be one of the personalities. update...she can't find her tennis racket and she just had it a minute ago right there with her bottle of water and her towel!!! wow...that happens to me all the time. she doesn't remember moving her racket, i don't remember changing the channel. true story. i couldn't make this shit up if i tried.

i am a real housewife of new york. this is not a delusion people. this is real.